To my Valentine

Dear America,

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be writing, but I miss you. You probably wont even read this and if so, I understand. I left you, you have no obligation to still love and care for me. But I just want you to know that no matter what I still love you.

I find myself reminiscing about the silliest little things we used to do together. Carnival rides at night at Great America or St. Rita's fair. All the incredible movies and music you introduced me too. Staying up late at night watching PBS and eating frozen pizzas, bars with good beer, Brewers games, Road Trips to see all your ballparks,



all the great cosmopolitan restaurants we'd go to, cool book stores, comic books, great live music and record stores...I could go on and on.
I know I shouldn't still be thinking about you. It's been almost a year since I left, and my new country is beautiful and fun, and exciting...but I still miss all the great times we had. I hope some day you can forgive me for leaving you. And though I love my new country, I just don't think it's going to work out. So... I don't know...Maybe it's inappropriate to say this all now while I'm still here in Vanuatu, but maybe after we've spent some more time apart you'll be willing to accept me back. I know that I'm willing to come back to you.
Don't get me wrong...there were serious things that bothered me about you, and they will probably never change, I hate how much time you spend looking in the mirror, and watching stupid ego stroking TV shows, the only TV we watch in Vanuatu is an occasional sports game and a movie. Your obsession with money and accumulating stuff was seriously disheartening, and it really pissed me off when you'd compare yourself to other people and talk about how much better your stuff was than theirs. Jealousy and envy always made you look ugly. And the way you tried to cover up your wrinkles and scars with makeup, plucking out grey hairs or dyeing to hide your age. You look beautiful when you don't focus on these things, but obsessing over makeup and ways to hide your age just made me pity you. Despite some of your actions lately I know you have a good heart and generally would like to help people but you seem to be letting your desires for self satisfaction interfere with your ability to make the right decision. I know it's tough to do the right thing all the time. With everyone always watching you you're bound to slip up and people will be there to remind you about it. But I just want to say that it's ok. We all make mistakes, we need to learn from them and move on, and hopefully do better in the future.
So speaking of the future...what do you think...will you take me back? I promise to support you and be there for you if you need me. You've given me everything that I have and helped me become who I am today. I am glad for that. Thankful. I owe you my life and I want to enjoy the rest of it with you. Please think about it. I wouldn't be able to come back immediately, though I love you more, I love Vanuatu to, and it'll take me awhile to figure out the right way to tell her that I'm leaving. I don't know if she'll be disappointed, but it's better to end it now before she gets too attached. It's just not fair to string her along like this when my heart belongs to someone else...
Ok. well I should go. I'm just gonna send this and throw caution to the wind.
With hope and admiration
and eternal love

Javi

remember this ???